Dr. Laurie Santos
We are not built to be happy. We are built for survival and reproduction.
Miswanting – the act of trying to go for certain things that we assume are gonna make us feel happy, but then they don’t make us as happy as we think – things that we think will make us happy but won’t like money, material possessions, status, promotion, dream job, etc.
Annoying features of the mind
- Intuitions – about the kind of things we should be doing to feel better. many of those intuitions are incorrect. (money, material possessions, promotions, getting married). We want the wrong things.
- Reference points – We don’t think objectively, we compare with something else. We constantly comparing with what we have with other people. Salaries, looks, how happy is our marriage, and how much travel we are doing.
- Hedonic adaptations – Tend to get used to stuff. We don’t know if it’s happening.
- Impact bias – If something good happens it’s gonna impact our happiness a lot, and for a really long period of time. But the evidence suggests it doesn’t. We are biased about the particular impact, that is impact bias.
In order to be happy, you have to rewire your brain.
Rewirements – changing the thought pattern
- Social Connections – Happy people are social people. Spends time around friends and family and people.
- Other Orientedness – Time volunteering, giving money away to charity, giving compliments
- Gratitude – Focus on the blessing, write down 3-5 things you are grateful for every night, pay attention to the good stuff in life
- Savoring – Moving towards paying attention to the good stuff in life a little bit more, one reason good circumstances do not make us happy is that we tend not to notice them. Savor your latte
- Exercise – Moving our body a little bit more
Monitor your negative thought patterns. They are part of the human experience. They are telling us something important. Your sadness is there to tell us “Hey you are missing something in life”. We should be able to regulate them in a positive way.
Put these strategies into practice to live a happy life.